Mental Health and My Journey into The ArtisT’s Way

I know its the end of August, but I’m gonna take it back a minute. Remember what a good procrastinator I am? Case in point.

At the beginning of 2022, my bar was really low as far as New Year’s resolutions went. After 2020/21, I think we all lowered our standards a touch, no? I know I was way okay with having a vodka soda in my pajamas at 1 in the afternoon while eating cereal out of the box on the couch. Its happy hour somewhere and cereal makes a great replacement when there aren’t any chips in the house. And let’s not even speak to home/virtual schooling our kiddos. Jeeeeez. Talk about having to offer oneself a massive dose of grace followed by a margarita (or three) and maybe more screen time than one would like to admit.

So, when 2022 rolled in, we lit some sparklers, ate Thai food and pretty much struggled to stay awake for the big hour at our friends’ house —at least we could finally all be together! (Slightly paranoid at such close proximity, but together nonetheless…) Needless to say, the next day, the big January 1st, I had zero expectations of what this year would hold. 2022 met up to my expectations on high, when we all came down with covid shortly after, preventing my daughter to return to school nearly ONE MONTH after winter break let out. This, and the state of the world and life in general, had me in a horrible mental state—I was depressed to the point of being unable to get out of bed at times, felt completely purposeless, and got zero joy from any of the usual joys life offers. I knew something had to give—for the first time in 21 years, I finally got back on medicine for my depression.

It took a while for the meds to kick in, and in the meantime, I felt crappy and judgmental of myself for not being able to handle my mental health on my own with the tools of yoga, mindfulness, diet(maybe the cereal and vodka wasn’t the best idea?), exercise, a decent online therapist, and massive doses of fish oil (pretty sure I started to smell like cod there for a bit). But, nearly a month in, I woke up and instead of my typical existential dread and deep desire to go back to sleep, I thought, “What a gift to open my eyes and be alive.” Whoaaaaa— it was a massive shift. I started to feel like myself again, not medicated, just….me. And it was during this time I came across Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way,” aka:TAW.

I had heard of this book many, many times—and when I found it at Mr. K’s used books for $10 I figured ‘ What the hell? Might as well give it a shot— one of the perks of an uber low bar is that expectations are minimal and failure is always an option. Well, not only did I NOT fail my friends, I thrived.

If you are not familiar with this book, it approaches the creative being and process as a spiritual one, but not from any particular religious point of view. It is a methodology to help creatives re-connect with their inner child, play and creative flow. The most ESSENTIAL piece to this puzzle is an exercise called “morning pages.” Morning pages are 3 pages of daily free form, handwritten, uninhibited writing. Initially, it felt like a lot. Three fucking pages?! Come on.

Yet, I found myself easily filling the pages—thoughts, words, poems, phrases pouring out of me. Maybe it had been the past two years of utter stress and the dumpster fire of global politics. Maybe it was because I really needed better, full-time therapy. Or maybe its because I’m a writer, who hasn’t written regularly in god knows how long and it felt so. damn. good.

Either way, I found myself committed to these pages. Each day, it was a cathartic release and revelations came through with each chapter I finished. Another piece to this puzzle is something called an ‘artist date” where you treat yourself to something completely fun and frivolous to feed your inner artist. I took the roller skates I bought myself for my 40th birthday but had never used and started skating. I started to see inspiration around me again. I started to feel more connected to the flow of abundant and constant creativity that is constantly around us.

From January 26 to May 30th of this year I wrote 166 pages in my journals. Its not exact math, and I definitely missed some days (especially Fridays since I teach yoga in the morning) and weekends—but I have to say—the process was a beautiful deep dive into my own creative process, acceptance, and finding beauty in unexpected and delightful ways.

I am still skating weekly now, thanks to that book. It has become my refuge and utter happy place—rolling around in circles at the skate rink on Tuesdays to throwbacks from the 80’s and 90’s lets me escape this crazy shit-show of a world and loose myself in my own movement and flow. I am not writing as regularly in my journal, but more-so than when I started TAW. I have found more love and acceptance for my creative process and was able to see patterns in my own thoughts and behavior since I could reflect and read it for myself. I found my poet. She’s in there and it was cool to see her come out through my pen, almost effortlessly.

I will be sharing some of my excerpts and inspirations from these journals on this blog—I always felt it needed to be only “jewelry focused” but with the help of The Artist’s Way and those pages, I remembered I am a multi-faceted creature who can do whatever the hell she wants on her own blog that no one reads anyway.

So, there you have it—only a few months later and some reflections on the process of the first half of this year. I am still on my meds, and happy I made the decision. I don’t think of them as forever, but for now, they are an amazing tool to help me feel happy, healthy, motivated and be my best self. I would love to hear any of your experiences—whether you have done TAW as well, or maybe with your own mental health struggles. You aren’t alone. If the past couple of whackadoodle years showed us anything, its that we are all in it together.

Much love,

Jess